The Struggle to Be Known

When I look back on my life, I’m amazed there have been so many times when people have materialized out of thin air and shook my world to the core. These unexpected people burst into my life at just the right time, with just the right encouragement. Some might say it is “divine” intervention. I’d probably agree.

It was during my first semester of college when one such person appeared. I had enrolled in a public speaking class, and had no idea which teacher I would be assigned. The class happened to fit an open spot in my schedule and was a class that I needed to graduate. So, I plugged it in.

Over the next four years, I would do my best to take EVERY class this professor taught. Her teaching methods were not the standard fare. The classes were often small and many times included round-table discussions and even role playing. Her classes injected a dose of some much needed inspiration into my life … and helped me take my next fledgling creative steps.

When I was a younger man, when my hair was blond and not snow, I worked in a number of capacities at a regional newspaper. For a few years, I managed to “weasel” my way into writing a weekly opinion column. I had that writing opportunity primarily because I had taken over the editing and design of that section of the paper.

In one of these columns, I wrote about my former speech professor, and how she refined the direction of my life. I actually used her name in that column, which I would never do today. A few months later I received a lengthy note from her thanking me. It was great to reconnect and it was one of the bright spots of that phase in my life.

When I first met this woman, she had already led an amazing life. She was a published author, many times over, and had over two decades of involvement with drama. This had led to her being cast in a motion picture narrated by Rod Serling of “The Twilight Zone” fame. The movie was filmed near Little Rock in 1972. It was called “Encounter With the Unknown.” The actual movie poster is below. (Isn’t it amazing what you can find on the Internet?)

The film is now available online and I recently watched it for the first time. It’s still appropriately creepy.

Many of the classes I took with this professor revolved around writing and she definitely helped shape my early forays into storytelling. I remember one creative writing class in particular, during which we all spent the semester exorcising demons and revealing things about ourselves that only someone in their early 20s would reveal. The class became a great sounding board for our creativity. I developed characters and themes in that class which persist in my mind to this day. I can’t begin to tell you how much I learned about writing from this professor.

One semester she assigned a term paper to be written on a work of literature. Naturally, she had a preferred list of works for us to choose from. My choice was Thornton Wilder’s Pulitzer Prize winning drama, “The Skin of Our Teeth.” Still a favorite.

I turned my paper in early. A few days later, one of the other students mentioned to me that the instructor had let her read my paper. The teacher suggested that my paper serve as an example of how she should approach her own. She seemed genuinely impressed with my work and even quoted a line from it. I still remember it, “Books are the golden threads that hold within their stitches the clothes of civilization.” At the time, I thought I had a way with words. Time has proved, I needed a little more study.

A few weeks later, some students were in this teacher’s office, visiting about their papers, and she shared with me that she had indeed given my paper to another student to serve as inspiration. “That’s fine, I don’t mind,” I answered. A little later, after the others left her office, she fell quite and with a low and even voice asked me a very simple question. A question that has haunted since.

“Do you feel like you will do something important with your life?”

I didn’t understand why, but the question made me incredibly uncomfortable. I squirmed in my chair and my eyes searched every corner of the room. Finally, after a series of perks and grunts, I mumbled, “I don’t know,” and I awkwardly scrambled out the door.

It was not the question itself that had such an effect on me, but rather the implied meaning behind it. She believed I had the potential to do something out of the ordinary with my life.

In the following weeks, the question continued to simmer in my mind. At times, it felt as if I was having a Sally Field moment, “You like me! You really, really like me!” Other times I literally doubted whether or not the question meant anything.

Bottom line: Everybody needs affirmation.

After having endured a childhood of bullying, I was certainly in need of someone finding worth in me. Now, it’s clear to me that every person, regardless of their talents or gifts, has the potential for greatness. It’s a promise that life itself guarantees us. If you possess the gift of life … you possess God-given potential.

So, today I’d like to answer this professor’s question … 37 years later. That answer is a resounding YES!

Through the years, I’ve had a handful of opportunities to bestow the question on others. I’m afraid it didn’t have quite the impact that it had on me. But I remain vigilant to this day looking for opportunities to pay the question forward.

I’ll certainly remember this friend, and her question the remainder of my days.

Today’s lesson? A simple question with deep implications, planted in a young open heart … fertile ground for inspiration.